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Monday, September 1st, 2003
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7:07 pm
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Thank you and Here Is The End. Just...bored really. I'll keep reading though, you're all spectacular.
Edit:
And I forgot to say. I started this journal because I couldn't keep how I felt about you all to myself. I couldn't contain how overwhelmed I was. But because I'm ending this record, it doesn't mean I've stopped feeling exactly as I did when I saw you looking at your hands on New Years Eve. I Love You more than ever.
"In fact, I've never needed anyone as much, apart from my Mum on primary school trips." you said to me.
Things are changing. But you still look at yourself in the mirror a lot and you still eat with big mouthfuls and you still make me nervous and you still look back at me as if you love me like I love you.
I won't marry you, but will you marry me?
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| Thursday, August 28th, 2003
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12:10 pm
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I've a heavy cold that makes me walk in funny directions, and I sleep naked because I'm hot under my duvet, but wear your hat because my ears get cold. It feels like Winter is already here, and I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to wearing big coats and sitting inside when it's raining. I can't wait to hold your hand and shiver, and smoke indoors, still wearing gloves. Drink tea... play music you will scrunch your face at. It's sort of upsetting that we'll never have another night at Daisy's. I don't know why but having a cold reminds me of her house. In a good way. In a really lovely way. Like the hiss and mist of February, and the toast we always ate. And her cats. And soggy trouser ends.
Next week I move into my new flat, and I'll still have the internet etc. but if any of you wish to write/visit, ask for an address. I'm really nervous, and really scared. And really needing to leave.
I don't know if anybody gets a result when they ask these questions, but here goes because I'm desperate. Will somebody buy me a ticket to see Thursday at the London Astoria, because I can't afford it. And you know, I'm really wonderful, and will pay you back eventually (with more than money), but just can't get it now... yea nobody's gonna do that. Hah.
See you around some time, I think for now I need to keep away from here. But I'll keep reading. And will return when life wills it so.
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